Tom is in better shape than I am. While he plays tennis twice a week, I sit in my home office and play on the computer. Need I say more?
It’s not that the cookie monster has taken over my body. But as a female, I can’t compete with Tom’s male strength. Nor could I ever hope to aspire to the stamina he’s built up over the years, always having been active in tennis and other sports.
I could wax poetic about this man I married. He is kind, generous, affectionate, sensitive, honest, sincere, and trustworthy—a compassionate human being whose gentle soul warmed my heart from the first day we met.
It was Tom who showed me how to enjoy life again. I had already come to terms with my lonely nest by the time I met him, and life was good. But, until he came along, I didn’t realize just how good life could be if you had the right person walking beside you.
Tom’s energy is limitless. Sure, he gets tired by day’s end, but he has a true passion for living. In our early days together new adventures and new places to go were always on his list of things for us to do.
He breathed new life into me by sharing the joys of bike riding, walking in the park, quiet talks, going to movies, traveling, and the beauty of nature—butterflies, birds, flowers, water and rainforest sounds, sunshine and laughter, and so much more.
Then, too, there’s his creative side which nurtures mine, inspiring me . . . to greater heights . . . to be all that I can be.
Tom and I are compatible in so many ways, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if our paths had crossed earlier in our lives. Would we have felt the connection? Would we have seen the potential for a good, happy life together?
There is something to be said about reaching mid-life, having that second chance at love, and being fortunate enough to meet someone who is exactly right for you.
The bike ride
Once while bike riding in the park, when we were coming up to the last mile of a 15-mile trek, I thought it would be a good idea if we gave this last mile all we had. Tom said OK and, at the speed of light, off he went. I tried to keep up, but when I couldn’t, I slowed to a crawl. I figured, the trail went up a ways and then ended. Tom would have to turn around; and when he did, he’d be coming back my way. I could then simply turn and fall in beside him, cutting off that last miserable half-mile. It was a brilliant, almost diabolical, plan. But it never materialized. As I pedaled on, around the first bend just past the trees, I found Tom standing there, waiting for me. We rode the rest of the way together at a steady, but slower, pace more comfortable for little ol’ me.
Aside from our obvious male/female differences, Tom and I are individuals and complex—an inherent combination of emotions and impulses that influence our behavior. Years of experience have taught us not to sweat the small stuff and, instead, look at the big picture and our happy future together.
Relationships are not especially easy. There is a lot of give-and-take . . . good days and bad . . . ups and downs. We all hope for something enduring, without a shadow of change. But the very nature of relationships makes change within them inevitable. With intimacy and the familiarity of day-to-day living comes a kind of complacency. You settle into a daily routine that could easily become boring. Kids had provided distraction and plenty to do. With an empty nest, it’s just the two of you, alone together. What better time than now to rekindle the romance and friendship that brought you together in the first place?
Our relationship works because we respect and love each other without condition, recognize and accept our differences with patient understanding, and make allowances for any weaknesses . . . as in this particular case, my inability to compete with speed racer.
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